Big Girl

Just wanna share that today my illnesses are having their climax.
I found myself like a little girl, struggle for keeping this hurt alone.
I saw myself with nobody, start whispering on names, once screaming.
It was hard to accept that I’m all alone, with unwell things around.
I swear you don’t even want to feel the same. Ever.

But this kind of condition which making me strong.
I ever had an experience like this, but it was just more horrible.
And it did learn me something, about being stronger.
Like Fergie said, Big girls don’t cry..
Since that time, I try not to cry, ’cause I’m a big girl instead.
And beautifully now, I’m not crying.🙂

When I caught in this situation, I realize I may pass this.
After some wise words from my friends of course, I know I have to.
I begin to see again, that life is not always happy.
Because there’s no happiness without sadness, isn’t it?
Remember wiseman said, “When everything goes your way, you’re in a wrong lane”.

So let’s be strong more and more everyday.
You know that Allah SWT will never leave us.
My boarding-mother (sorry, don’t know what to call) was coming.
Realizing I’m not okay, she helped me right away.
Like an angel, I’m not trying to make it felt too much, but she was.
Then now I feel a little better. Even though I’m not healed totally.

He rules these, not for nothing. All He has done make sense.
Just loving every step you go grown, how you can’t be a kid anymore.
Until the time you full-grown,  you’ll see yourself a woman, not girl.
Who can depend ourselves to our own selves.
Who can make good decision in bad condition.

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