There has been a phrase, haunted me for several days. It made me unsure with the lifemap I have planned. I have become feel like in doubt to do the steps to get to the finishline. I’m afraid. Definitely. I am afraid if these things, these dreams I have planned, has just wasted my very precious time. And someday I will find myself with the blown up future, evaporate to the sky. Oh no! That’s not the way my life should be. Finally, the wayout of all this is to fix my own phrase. My own true passion.
In my definition, passion is such a thing that, I reach satisfaction while I’m doing it. Moreover if it is done well. I’ll do my work with pleasure if the work is really my passion. Extremely, maybe I will never say “I’m tired” or “I’m sick” on it. Why? Because spending time with those works alias those passions, just like refreshing.You are enjoying your works. Will you say that you’re sick while you on your ride to the beach with friends, for example? Except it is damn traffic journey instead.
A friend of mine told me about this in our ‘finding passion’ discussion. He denied me that I’m not wasting my precious time as I’m doing my lifemap as well as it was made. In case it’s not my true passion, but at least I’m trying to search for it. You do that to feel as much as you can feel. And no problem, this is our time indeed to find what our true passion is. I don’t know whether it’s right or wrong. I can accept it, but it heard too permissive. And I can’t take it just that way.
I’ve been thinking. Some options came. Badly, none of them is in my major time so far. Ok, just be honest. I have found two; teach and write. It’s implied that I will see myself as a teacher, or writer. But the question is, should I? I do love to give something to others; knowledge, kindness, anything. As I remember, I have a bigger things. Another energy-wasted dreams. They are god-damned cool. Unfortunately, this time I need to ask myself, “Are they my true passions?” Why did I ask that? Because sometime I just don’t enjoy my path to get closer to them. I often said that I’m tired. Over and over again.
Believe me, those I’m-not-sure-whether-they-are-my-true-passions-or-not are still sound cool in my head. Till now, they are the answer of the dream questions they ask me. But I won’t take it any longer. I wish I could make my rule to this world. I wish I had a brave to admit my true passion whatever it is. I still don’t get it; do I have a wrong way of thinking or am I living in the wrong lane? At least I’m not asking to the wrong God. Alhamdulillaah.
Finally, I have to say that I still need to live my life. Whatever it takes. And a thing to be bolded is do my best. Whether it is my true passion or not. I have to. I can’t change the rule of this world, that’s why I have to change myself. Not everything. Maybe it’s just me that don’t know when will I realize my own passion. What I can conclute is we can decide what our passion is, we can think that our dreams are the coolest, we can make the most strategic lifemap for us, but we can’t predict when the true passion is really come. That’s why we need to keep doing our best, so that we are always ready whenever we come to realize it. Now, you can conclute your own one.