About life, growth, and be a better person…

Yes, we have challenges in life. So does everybody. Life is changing and changing. You have to keep speeding up to chase your developments and goals. No excuse for being constant. Even the Earth never stops turning around, right? Le temps qui compte est toujours compte, the time that counts is always count. It’s a race between YOU and the TIME.

In our ways to obtain developments, things are often not going the way we wish. It happens really often. Because what? Because it’s life, c’est la vie. And do you know that actually, the growth point is here: in how we react to the surroundings. In life, our action is below 10%, and the rest is reaction. So, it is important to understand that your growth is not really about your goals, but more to how to achieve them. It’s the process. And how to make things work with the process? It depends on your goals, for sure. Thus, the STRONGEST people are not the smartest, nor the quickest, nor the nicest, but they are people who can ADAPT WELL to any kind of changings.

Sometimes we got problem regarding to the environment’s changing. Well, but let me remind you that a problem is NOT a problem, unless you put it as a problem indeed. Then you maybe will ask, “what should I do when I’m facing something that POTENTIALLY can be a problem?” Yes, good question. Then my answer is, “to find more information and evidence.” See things from different angles, in different situation and condition. The easiest way is to talk to people, to get more perspective and insight. We never know where the hidayah will come from. Also you should have special time to think, a contemplation. Of course you can always pray and ask for direction to Allaah. Here my point is, you have to understand that problem is just something that we HAVE NOT REVEALED YET. Keep trying to find more, before you get confused or even get lost. We call something is a problem because we don’t know yet the answer, right? Because we are lack of information and so evidence.

The other important thing is to distinguish the needs and the desires. It is usual when you have a lot of things you really crave to know or do. It’s normal, because we’re human. But as a human, we have constraints as well. Either it is time, energy, focus, or anything. That is why we need to sort our priorities, which one is the need and which one is the desire. Unfortunately, you can’t grab it all. I have to say that you can’t get all of you needs and desires. Trust me. What you will get are only partially things, or even nothing at all. Define what you are good at, explore it to the maximum, and reach the top. There’s nothing wrong with a politician who doesn’t know how to derive the polynomial equations, and vice versa. But I’m not saying that you don’t NEED things you are not DESIRED at. You can’t keep avoiding your sight or hearing of them. For instance, an engineer or a scientist who doesn’t have any DESIRE to politics, may NEED to know about politics in certain condition.

The last one is: me and them (societies you are affiliated with; could be your family, friends, organization, or company). Here, the first keyword is INTEREST. You and your world have your own interests. They and their world also have their own interests. It is a good news when both interests can work in synergy. We have nothing to discuss with it, because I know you can handle that. But how if both are running in different ways? The requirement is to get to know both interests, why you want to go the A street and why they want to go the B street. When you have this situation, you have to consider both. Sure. Why? Because we don’t live this world alone. Because we need them, and so they need us. Try to understand. If you can’t, at least try to respect. First thing first is to communicate, the proper and the right way. A lot of people failed in this communicating thing. It’s a must to have an effective discussion, to have comprehensive understanding. For example when you’re doing your final assignment (TA), you have to discuss with your partner or your lecturers. Open your mind to what they have in mind, and make your points clear so that they can understand your thoughts. Communication is important, unless you are one of the X-men mutant who can read minds.

After the things are clear, the second keypoint is BENEFIT. Every human wants benefit, who doesn’t? The best men are people with immense benefit, Rasulullaah told us. Please consider which of your actions can obtain immense benefit. Not only the quantity, but also the quality. Give much, and you will get much. Still, it depends on the situation. There are dependent and independent variables. Your mission is to control the dependent variables, so that they can suit the independent variables. You named it, you know it better. Make your plan, and be consistent to it. Let me tell you that perhaps it will count failure, but it is not important. What’s important is the try-and-try-again. Along with defining the interests and benefits, the third keypoint is VALUE. Definitely. The third one is actually the main point. Those interests or benefits will be NOTHING without the right value. The value can be based on Islam or ethical values in life. It’s the spirit of your actions, so you must have and stick on it. Oh yes, one additional thing. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go big, go together. Just keep these words as bonus.

To make it clearer, let’s take a very simple example. Maybe one of you will ask, “why should teh Ratna write this in English?” Ok. Let’s start. (1) Do you think it’s a PROBLEM? Never ever mention a problem too early. You will count it as a problem if you can’t translate or understand this writing in a whole. So why don’t you go to Google Translate or dictionary or ask people to understand this writing? After you understand, will you still put it as a problem? No. (2) Do you NEED this writing in English? Or do you DESIRE this writing in Indonesian? English has been a worldwide language. You will be a mom who will teach your kids or/and you will be a professional who will interact with your international colleagues. Perhaps you don’t desire, but anyway you need it. At least if you want to know what this writing is all about. (3) Do you have any INTEREST to read it in English? If you don’t, I will communicate it that I have my interest to write it in English. Maybe to enhance my ability or I feel more comfortable this way. Can you accept or just respect to it? If yes, it’s okay. If no, you can close this page. Hey, I’am not joking. Quit is an option and sometimes can be a good option within right considerations. Next, do you get the benefit of reading it in English? If yes, alhamdulillaah. If no, you should think again. And the last, what’s the value of this English writing? My value is only one, learning. Does it opposite yours? Everyone is growing by learning. I hope you’re still a human.

Well, it’s just a sharing. I can be wrong and you may have different thoughts anyway. You can correct me as well. It’s always okay.


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